Dinner..at the White House?

Even as I write this title I am thinking, was this real? Have I lost my mind? But it is true-I have the pictures and hundreds of hits on Google to prove it. I am sitting on my porch on the farm, barefoot and all listening to the birds and watching the forsythia unfold before my eyes. It is a far cry from dinner last Wednesday night, believe you me!

You all know the rest of the story, but as we walked toward the receiving line we had no idea of the honor that lay before us. I kept waiting for someone to tell me how to behave but no one did. I took a deep breath and I handed my card to the announcer, and there I was standing in front of the President of the United States. So I did what came naturally. After he warmly greeted me I said, Thank you so much, Mr. President for inviting me, and these are for you!" What were they ? Pictures of my kids of course-not just any pictures, but one of all four in uniform, and another of him presenting our daughter with her USNA diploma. "Do you remember that sweet face? " I asked with a laugh. He got a big kick out of it. "Shall I sign them or keep them?, he asked. I stammered back, "I guess keep them," feeling like I had already gone too far. He turned to the Prime Minister and showed him the pics as he introduced me. (An aide did come up to me and ask how the pictures should be signed-so sweet)

So now I was face to face with a very tall, lovely Mrs. Obama. "Elaine, we are so happy you are here tonight, "she said warmly. I thanked her and said, " I just gave your husband some pictures." She replied," Don't worry about that-we will have plenty of time to chat-you will be sitting with us." And then I was enveloped in a huge hug.I was dumbstruck-and those of you who know me personally know that is hard to do . I was fanning my face and stammering while everyone around us was beaming. She turned to Mrs. Cameron and said, "Samantha, this is Elaine Brye, mom of four service members-she will be at our table tonight. "

I wanted to scream like my good friend Amanda "AAACKKKK!," but instead allowed myself to be led toward the tent still in shock. My husband behind me Ithink ( I was aware of no one else on the planet) also got a huge hug and kiss. Thank goodness for the aides and Senator and Mrs.Lugar-they got us onto the trolley that took us to the tent.

I continued to hyperventilate but knew there were two things I had to do. Go to the bathroom and call my daughter. " Katie !", I whispered breathlessly , "Keep watching!" She and baby Colton had been watching C-Span coverage on the internet. " We are sitting with the President and Mrs. Obama!" "WHAT!!!" she shouted back at me. " I am not kidding-gotta go." And with that I moved through the crowd to find where we were sitting.  At this point I did not know who else would be there, I was just trying to comprehend it all-I still don't!

The theme was English Country Garden. The tent was back lit with pinks and purples-the exact shade of my dress to be specific:) The tables were covered with pink and purple flowers. The chairs were clear Lucite-almost like Cinderella's slipper. Quite appropriate since that is how I felt. Here is a peek at the place settings and tables.

The Head Table-who knew Table 20 would be the one?

It's for me-really!

The flowers are a lot like Katie and Preston's wedding

But wait -there's more....in the next post

Cinderella at the White House

My handsome husband waiting outside security

 We arrived to find a gaggle of people waiting outside the gate.
Since we have been out of the country so much lately we wished we had a directory or that people were wearing nametags-let's just say we were the most ordinary folks there.
As the  gate opened we began going through a series of security checks and lo and behold our names were on the list.

We were in!

Momma and Poppa Brye at the White House

As we entered there were a number of military aides directing us. Of course I had to talk with them and show pictures of our military kids. As the evening went on we found at least 8 or 9 who knew our older sons-it was so much fun.

The first hour was a cocktail hour. Waiters passed around appetizers and glasses of wine. We headed into a small room and who did we discover-Eric's Commandant from his Plebe year: General John Allen-four stars and all. He is now in charge of Afghanistan and boy did we have a lot to talk about! It was wonderful. How could it get any better than that?

Next we went upstairs to the State Dining Room. The theme was an English Garden and lucite columns were filled with flowers throughout the room. Since the dinner was quite large-340 people-the dinner itself was held in a big tent on the South Lawn. We met more of Jordan's Coastie friends who introduced us to SFC Leroy Petry and his wife. He is an Army Ranger who was awarded the Medal of Honor for courageous acts in Afghanistan. What a privilege to meet them both.

As we meandered around the room Courtney spied someone he really wanted to meet: Rory McElroy the number one golfer in the world. So very nice and I cannot get over the fact that he is only 22 years old!While we were talking to him another couple wanted to meet his as well. Senator and Mrs Lugar from Indiana were big fans and now we are big fans of them. We had a lovely time chatting with them-nothing like Midwesterners. As Mrs. Lugar"just call me Char " said, "Don't worry about not knowing anyone -we hardly know anyone either. "

As we were engrossed in our conversation it took one of Jordan's friends who was an aide to tell us it was time to go through the receiving line to meet the President. Here we go...

Cinderella at the White House-part one

I am a Momma with a capital M. My kids are my most precious treasure and when they aren't around , I will mother anyone in in the vicinity, especially if they are military. With four kids serving l have certain amount of worry that goes with the territory, and as they have married and had children( my wonderful grandchildren, Miles, Isabella, and Colton) there is more to worry about. This is especially true when my kids have been deployed. I watched my daughter in laws and my son in law go through the process of holding down the home front and my heart ached. And last December as I wrote my Christmas cards I thought especially of my son Jordan who had deployed to hostile territory with a five month old daughter and who was missing her first birthday.

You see I am a child from another era of war.My Army father and husband served in VietNam and they came home to disrespect and derision. I knew what it was like to have my father away and the sacrifices we made as a family. The thought that someone cared would have made all the difference. I had become aware of the initiatives to support military families led by the First Lady, and although I knew the White House mail bag would be overstuffed I felt led to write a thank you for caring message with a Christmas greeting. It was a mom to mom message from a proud military mom who appreciated that her children's service and sacrifice were valued.

And so I popped it into the mailbox and life went on. Another deployment finished and another one was scheduled and I tried to figure out when I could get my kids altogether again. It was as normal as our lives would be until I returned home from spending time with my husband in Bangladesh to find an invitation in the mail inviting me to a White House dinner in honor of the British Prime Minister. It must be a joke! But there was my name in elegant calligraphy. I called my husband in the middle of the night to tell him he needed to get home. Groggily he suggested I must be hallucinating from jet lag but came around to the idea that maybe I was still sane.

The next day I called in to RSVP and made copies of the invite just to remind myself it was real. Dress shopping, tuxedo shirts, hotel reservations.. The preparations continued until we found ourselves in Washington DC on Tuesday night. We only told our family and a few others with a need to know-we each secretly harbored the thought that it really was a mistake and we would be turned away. A nervous call to the Social Ofice confirmed that yes we really were on the list and yes my letter was read and "noticed"-no kidding!

As we prepared for the dinner there was a constant stream of text messages from our daughter. She was virtually helping me from afar-which lipstick, hair details. We accidentally locked the hotel safe and needed help and I was really wishing I had lost fifty pounds in a week. We realized we had been so hung up on getting ready and meeting these two powerful Heads of State and their wives that we did not think about anyone else. And now it hit me? Who else would be there? Who would we talk to? But of course tucked away in a corner of the tent we could just watch and absorb everything like two church mice. Feeling like we were headed to the prom, we waited for our cab, and waited, until they snagged a limo and we were off.

Mother Love

Motherlove-it conjures up sweet dreamy visions of pink and blue, cuddly and cozy. Mother love was anything but that for me-it transformed me into a warror diva determined to do anything to support and protect this next generation-our legacy. It was primal, raw,like that of a grizzly mom protecting her cubs. I was driven to do anything to nurture my cubs as well.

In my pregnancies I took ten time s better care of myself than I ever had before. As infants I read to them, baby proofed the house. As they grew and participated in almost every sport known to man I bought protective gear-chest protectors, face guards. We bought booster seats before they were required, guarded the internet, got them fingerprinted. I would leave no stone unturned to keep them safe and thriving.

And then it was time to leave the safe nest I had crafted. I thought I knew the depths of my love then as my heart ached at the thought of them leaving. But the enormity of it was revealed as son number on stood and took this oath on July 1, 2001 at the United States Naval Academy.

HAVING BEEN APPOINTED A MIDSHIPMAN IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY, DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR (OR AFFIRM) THAT YOU WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; THAT YOU WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT YOU TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; AND THAT YOU WILL WELL AND FAITHFULLY DISCHARGE THE DUTIES OF THE OFFICE ON WHICH YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER, SO HELP YOU GOD.

My son promised  go into harms’ way in service and duty to his country. The reality of his promise became larger than life two months later on September 11, 2001 when our nation was attacked.Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his country. Greater love has no mother than to watch her beloved child possibly have to do just that. In the years that followed his three siblings have each made the commitment to serve. As a military mom with a child in the Army, Air Force, Navy, and Marines, I never understood the depths of love until I have experienced my childrens’service in a tangible way.

How can this be? These children I so carefully nurtured now at the point of the sphere all around the globe. Love to me is having my heart skip a beat when I hear the evening news, or have not had email contact in days. It is a primal scream when a friend is injured or killed. It is the constant prayer and the realization that, there but for the grace of God go I, as another casualty is announced. And it is having my heart overflow when one comes home and is safe for an all too brief moment in time.

Tonight I will sleep a little easier because, for the first time in a year, all my children are home in the United States. Not under my wing, but still close to my heart... which is mighty full of mother love.

Military Moms and Dads

This month is Military Family Appreciation Month. It is good to recognize the sacrifice of the families who support their service members at home and on deployment. My daughters-in-laws and son in law have held down the fort during multiple deployments. And my grandchildren have also felt the sting  of daddy being gone for months on the time. I remember that from my childhood as well. My dad, a career Army office , was gone a lot including multiple tours in Viet Nam. I remember watching scary news footage and rebelling when I had to leave my friends one more time

I want to focus today on some other members of the family-the parents, especially of the single military servicemen or women. It is a little daunting to get a big envelope in the mail with your kid's will and life insurance policy. We usually miss out on those family awareness and pre-deployment family briefings. If we are lucky our kids add our name to the Family Readiness Officer newsletters. but we are spread out all over the county with no other service family members around us to share the weight of worry. Many of us have no knowledge of the military and not many people around us who really understand what it is like. You get a lot of questions like,"How can you stand it-I could  never handle my kids doing that", or " You must be afraid to watch the news." Usually I am just brave and breeze through it. But sometimes I want to just start sobbing and turn into a quivering mound as I squeak out," He is flying over Libya right now. " But since we are the less than one percent they would not get it and back up hurriedly to move away.

To be fair I wish I had a dollar for everyone who has thanked me for their service. But there are times when you do wish your kids lived down the street especially when you don't hear from them for weeks on end or they are in harm's way.

But we continue to do our part. We babysit their pets, store their stuff. We send care packages and pray that no one in uniform shows up on our doorsteps. And if, heaven forbid they are injured  we do whatever we can to help them become whole again. We have them move in with us, drive them to medical care-maybe hours away, and do what it takes because they are our and our country's treasures.

Military moms and dads-one of the toughest jobs in the world, right behind spouses and military kids. I am very proud to be one. We need to stick together. Life on the homefront can get mighty tough somedays.

Deployment

Last year I had the unique opportunity to be a mom in a war zone. I spent the school year teaching in Kabul Afghanistan.My husband had been flying for an Afghan airline for two years, our daughter had been deployed there and I felt a call to serve in my own way. So I packed up by scarves and tunics and headed to Kabul.

My first days were punctuated by a massacre of aid workers, local disputes requiring school to be closed and then the threats to burn the Koran which raised the tension level a hundred fold. We lived by a code of colors which detailed out security levels and we hit red multiple times. But in the down times life was a series of days blending into each other-missing home and family and freedom to move about without restrictions.

So what exactly does this have to do with deployment? My active duty kids have completed three deployments so far-and one is currently deployed. They call my time in Kabul my deployment-I got a first hand view of what life is like.

It is boring. There are days of endless work, with little time off. And when there is time off there is no place to go so you tend to keep working. The folks I knew at the local base had Friday morning off -every other day they worked 12 to 14 hours a day.

Then the boredom vanishes with reminders that it is a war zone. Rocket attacks, possible shooters, suicide bombers-all combine to let you know you are not in Kansas anymore.You can rewrite the scenario about a lot of missions-whether on a Navy ship, or on an aircraft. It can be hours of boredom interrupted by moments of sheer terror -an old aviation saying that holds true in this scenario.

Of course those who are boots on the ground going house to house and interacting with villagers have much less boredom. But they share the second aspect of deployment-loneliness. It is a deep loneliness of absence of family and dearest friends-the people who know you and share your life and history. You may bond with your battle buddies in a profound way, but nothing replaces love from home, and family.

I saw packages arrive and be delivered by the chaplains, passed out hugs at chapel in my own mini USO attempts to disperse mom energy. I cried with losses and celebrated with people as they shipped home. It was a privilege to be there and get a better understanding of what my kids are facing as they perform their duties.

Two things I know about being deployed-you can never get enough mail and there is no place like home. Two things I know about being at home with kids deployed-the news is not your friend and you can never hear from them enough.

Deployments-a way of life for those who serve and those who love them...sigh.

I have become a knitting fool

For you skeptics who are wondering why I should even mention my knitting addiction-let me say that I have found a wonderful way to at least temporarily cast away worries and concerns-something any military parent needs to know how to do . During my last two Plebe summers I ran-well sort of  ran-but enough to be able to complete a marathon.But right now it is very cold outside-plus I am committed to spending at least 4 hours a week on bleacher seats(I call the result bleacher bottom but that is another story).

So what do you do when you are confined to a gym in the situation where your son plays on the JV and might get in for the Varsity-have your guts twist up inside in disappointment when he doesn't make it in? Snarl at the referee when you really want to throttle the coach? I pick up my short pointy sticks and start knitting furiously.

Worrying about the PRT(physical readiness test) or academics or drill instructors?-that is good for at least one scarf. How about if they will get leave for that family event?-a pink cotton chenille washcloth can handle that. Flight school-performance in the trainer-will he get jets or helos-and the unspeakable events that as the wife of a instructor pilot  I have seen occur; his buddies on the Syrian border, her deployment to Afghanistan-well now I am starting an afghan.

Actually I just came across a site where you can knit for the troops-so I am going to check that out as well. I feel a new affinity for all those women in WWI and WWII who knit away and rolled bandages-the mindless acts of meditation of a stitch combined with prayers for those I love and in harms way help me stay somewhat peaceful. This world is a scary place and our children have chosen to be in the middle of it all-at least they will have something that keeps them warm to take with them.