Mother Love

Motherlove-it conjures up sweet dreamy visions of pink and blue, cuddly and cozy. Mother love was anything but that for me-it transformed me into a warror diva determined to do anything to support and protect this next generation-our legacy. It was primal, raw,like that of a grizzly mom protecting her cubs. I was driven to do anything to nurture my cubs as well.

In my pregnancies I took ten time s better care of myself than I ever had before. As infants I read to them, baby proofed the house. As they grew and participated in almost every sport known to man I bought protective gear-chest protectors, face guards. We bought booster seats before they were required, guarded the internet, got them fingerprinted. I would leave no stone unturned to keep them safe and thriving.

And then it was time to leave the safe nest I had crafted. I thought I knew the depths of my love then as my heart ached at the thought of them leaving. But the enormity of it was revealed as son number on stood and took this oath on July 1, 2001 at the United States Naval Academy.

HAVING BEEN APPOINTED A MIDSHIPMAN IN THE UNITED STATES NAVY, DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR (OR AFFIRM) THAT YOU WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; THAT YOU WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT YOU TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; AND THAT YOU WILL WELL AND FAITHFULLY DISCHARGE THE DUTIES OF THE OFFICE ON WHICH YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER, SO HELP YOU GOD.

My son promised  go into harms’ way in service and duty to his country. The reality of his promise became larger than life two months later on September 11, 2001 when our nation was attacked.Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his country. Greater love has no mother than to watch her beloved child possibly have to do just that. In the years that followed his three siblings have each made the commitment to serve. As a military mom with a child in the Army, Air Force, Navy, and Marines, I never understood the depths of love until I have experienced my childrens’service in a tangible way.

How can this be? These children I so carefully nurtured now at the point of the sphere all around the globe. Love to me is having my heart skip a beat when I hear the evening news, or have not had email contact in days. It is a primal scream when a friend is injured or killed. It is the constant prayer and the realization that, there but for the grace of God go I, as another casualty is announced. And it is having my heart overflow when one comes home and is safe for an all too brief moment in time.

Tonight I will sleep a little easier because, for the first time in a year, all my children are home in the United States. Not under my wing, but still close to my heart... which is mighty full of mother love.

Mom

I am a mom-soccer mom, track mom, football mom , ballet mom, no you can’t watch TV until you finish your homework is done mom, do the right thing mom , Army mom, Navy mom, Air Force mom, Marine mom . I am even a helicopter mom since one of my sons is training in helicopters!


I have been protecting my brood since before they were born. As a mama bird tends her nest, I fluttered about finding all the right ingredients to make strong little birds. My other job as mom was developing their wings in all kinds of ways. I wanted them to soar, fly in the face of adversity, and become competent birds who could navigate the big world around them.

And now–they are off and out of the nest. Most of the time, I am filled with pride and joy as I watch them rise to their potential. But there are days when I wish they were safe in the nest again. When I contemplate a sweet baby head of blonde curls now cradled in Kevlar my mother’s heart aches. Gone are the days when I can keep them safe-it is in God’s Hands. And so I look His words and leave them to His protection.

I am reminded of a favorite song based on His word… On Eagles Wings by Michael Joncas. Here is the refrain :

And He will lift you up on eagle's wings,

Bear you on the breath of dawn,

Make you to shine like the sun,

And Hold you in the palm of his Hand.

I am glad there is room for me in His Hand as well.

A new rating

I have been behind on my blog-nothing like a wedding in the family to take precedence. The AF 2Lt is now a Mrs.-and her husband is also a 2Lt in the Air Force just getting ready to start flight school. As I wrote in my Christmas card-sleep in peace-my family is on duty all over the world.
My husband was able to come home for the wedding and returned to Dubai /Kabul several weeks ago.

It is hard to keep up with him and his everchanging schedule. So when news of the attacks in Kabul hit the TV the other day the hair on the back off my neck stood up. I recognized that mall
and hoped he was anywhere but there. Turns out all was well-but members of his crew who are Afghani live right next to the fighting. They are so tired of war.

Right now my son who was deployed is happily back at home and everyone else is in training mode. I will treasure these moments of calm-I know that soon they will be interrupted by a call to harm's way. And in the meantime we will celebrate a new marriage, and a new helicopter rating; a permanent duty station in California plus no Kabul overnights. Life is good.